I’ve been listening to Marion Woodman this past month…hence the delays in writing. “Sitting by The Well; Bringing The Feminine to Consciousness Through Language, Dreams and Metaphor.” Even reading the title creates a weight in my breath. She gives me so much to contemplate and after some digestion time, I feel as though I am on the cusp of understanding things that have been plaguing me my whole life. Woodman, is one of the most widely read authors on feminine psychology, a poet and writer. She writes about the soul being “the connecting link between the body and the divine, and the inner marriage, referred to by Jungians as the high point in the individuation of a human being, between spirit and soul.” That, is a lot to take in…Just hearing the word soul, make me anxious and I am a Soulcollage® facilitator!! So where do I start? If my heart chakra is blocked, do I start with the divine? Or do I start with what Woodman view as our biggest task? – Finding our containers that can protect our souls since it sees and hears with our inner eyes and ears and therefore needs a safe space that allows for its growth.
I guess I should start with the divine. Should I capitalize? I don’t think so and not because I don’t respect its existence. I just think the ex- catholic in me still bristles with distain and I can not go there yet. However, Woodman asks us to reflect on sacred moments in our lives that were connected to soul because those are the moments, as we near the end of our life, when the divine crossed the human. They are moments that make up our life.
Ok so why on earth haven’t I asked my Dad about his moments? Should I do this during my next visit? Would I be afraid he would ask me mine? Should a child ever tell a parent that they tried to end their life? But if I felt what I can only surmise to this day as the hand of well, “something” touching my shoulder and waking me from a state of craziness, and therefore gave me a moment to see and feel proof of something bigger than me out there, why wouldn’t I want to share that? That was my first experience of the divine. But I rarely spoke of it because I didn’t want to seem like a crazy person and I didn’t understand it. Until the last few years I hadn’t felt that presence again, but then it appeared, but deeper. A cradling of warmth that immediately evaporated a tortuous feeling of pain and aloneness into peace. A moment of connection with all parents everywhere that had no ability to protect their child…to understanding no separate self. To understanding that to look at our dreams, “as living our own myths, and that myth, captures those divine moments…the still points….where there is no dance, and there is only the dance.”
Hmmm, ok I get it- its the container thing. I never had one for my soul to grow when I was young, so I had to learn to create my own. I know I am not done but Woodman’s teachings are helping me see that by learning to “sit by the well,” that is to say, sit by my soul that hears and sees with inner light, is just waiting to give me the answers. I am figuring out how best to cup the water that is in me. How best to drink from this well. How best to surrender. Woodman also talks about how this word, surrender. People view it as weak but is it? Is not surrendering what the buddhist view of all life is sorrowful, really saying? In surrendering to the divine, is that where my safest container lies? I think I first need to capitalize it – Divine. Is that the inner marriage Jungian’s mean? Not at all sure but Rilke’s Book of Hours, 1, 59 comes to mind…
God speaks to each of us as he makes us, then walks with us silently out of the night.
These are the words we dimly hear:
You, sent out beyond your recall, go to the limits of your longing. Embody me.
Flare up like flame and make big shadows I can move in.
Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror. Just keep going. No feeling is final. Don’t let yourself lose me.
Nearby is the country they call life. You will know it by its seriousness. Give me your hand.
Day 7…..100 day challenge